I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I pour the whiskey from now on
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
