So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I need to calm my uterus...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
