It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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