she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
