I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
