We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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