Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
