I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
