I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
