Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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