Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
