My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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