Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
