Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
