no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
