I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize