That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
