i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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