Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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