He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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