I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
