I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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