He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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