yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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