do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
