the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
