i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
