I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You were trust falling into bushes
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
