Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
