Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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