Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
