I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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