The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
