I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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