so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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