Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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