Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize