he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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