you turned your livingroom into a bong?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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