i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
