thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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