so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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