Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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