Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
