You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
