These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
