oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
