What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
