my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
