I smell stomach acid.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
