I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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