oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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