that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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