Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Terrible idea I love it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
