covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
