so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize