Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
