Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
