I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
