didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
