On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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