I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize